


It's Dreamswap, but everyone is clearly smoking a shitton of crack.

by AzureNight



Category: Undertale (Video Game), dreamswap - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, I am so sorry for writing this, I debate determinism with myself at one point, I regret every life choice that came to this, M/M, Multi, No only that but, Pah dignity who needs it when you have fanfiction amirite?, What has fanfiction done to me, Where is my dignity, [laughs]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 15:13:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15318264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureNight/pseuds/AzureNight
Summary: Alternatively, Dream is a massive fucking troll.I suppose “Dream reads a fic on his desk and stuff escalates and that’s how I took selfcest to a whole new level,” also works...Dreamswap by @onebizarrekai on tumblr





	It's Dreamswap, but everyone is clearly smoking a shitton of crack.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OneBizarreKai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneBizarreKai/gifts).



**BEGINNING**

 

**~~~**

 

So. One fateful day, Ink is bored. This is not a great thing, because a bored Ink has done many inadvisable things, including painting the entirety of his room neon pink, which is not terribly smart, as you might guess.

But today, Ink doesn’t even consider repainting his room, despite the garish colour starting to grate on his nerves, today Ink decides that he would like to read to alleviate boredom. As it is, Ink cannot be bothered to actually walk to his bookshelf, despite it being quite literally two metres away from the sofa he’s currently lounging on. Ink can be bothered however, to walk to his bedroom - an  _entire 7 metres away_ , if you can believe it - and retrieve his phone, before walking another 7 metres back to the sofa. Truly, Ink has done so much exercise today, it merits a day of lounging on the sofa and doing nothing at all.

Ink turns his phone on, and clicks onto YouTube, intent on watching youtube videos of cats for the next few hours, despite his earlier decision to read to alleviate boredom, though decides against it after thinking of something better to do - well, better in his opinion. In the mind of everyone else, mindlessly watching cat videos is probably the smarter decision. Cosmic forces wish they could turn back time and prevent this thought from ever even happening, but unfortunately, Old Man Time is a stickler for the rules and also a grumpy old coot, and refuses to let anyone prevent Ink from having that idea.

And what is this idea, you ask? [Or at least I hope you ask, lest this entire sentence be rendered pointless.]

Ink decides to open Wattpad.

That in and of itself would not be something particularly tragic on any other day, but as it is, today, in the featured stories, resides and X Reader fanficiton. More specifically, a Dream x Reader fanfiction - what with him being a prominent public figure, and rather gifted in the looks department, really, it was only a matter of time before something of the like was written.

Ink opens the fanfiction with an amused grin on his face, and that’s multi-universally agreed to be beginning of the deterioration of this AU, and also quite possibly the author’s sanity, because stars knows writing crack is as addictive as the drug itself. Perhaps it all started with that cursed Jerry X Reader that we do not speak of, when the author discovered the wonders of writing nonsense. Perhaps it started when the universe was created, and a chain of events was set off that would eventually result in the author discovering of the existence of Undertale and it’s fandom.

Regardless of what you believe, Ink opened the fanfiction, and that was that.

 

\---

 

 **Salt Incarnate:**  yo blue u wanna come over? im off work

 **Blue:**  Why? You may be slacking but some people actually need to be able to afford to pay the rent.

 **Salt Incarnate:** ur like dream with ur fancy words u should make a fancy word club

 **Salt Incarnate:** also i have fanfic

 **Blue:**  Yes, because I clearly like reading fanfiction. It is the best way to spend my time when I’m meant to be working so the landlord doesn’t kick me out of my house.

 **Salt Incarnate:** its shitty dream x reader fanfic. i have good ones to

A pause.

 **Blue:**  I hate you.

 **Blue:** I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

Ink grinned, shoving his phone back in his pocket, and pulling up his laptop. Sprawled on the couch, he had everything he needed - wifi connection, shitty Dream x Reader fanfic, surprisingly in character Dream x Reader fanfic, his partner in crime Blue, and access to a printer; there was no way in hell he wasn’t printing these fics off then shoving them into Dream’s files for him to read. His face when he realised what they were… it was bound to be  _beautiful._

Ink was knocked out of his fantasising by three sharp knocks on his door, whom he easily identified to be Blue. The glitched Underswap Sans walked in, smirk plastered on his face, as he tucked his phone away into his pocket, having, presumably, just finished making a shady deal with some dodgy individual.

“Now, Ink, these fics had better either be the most beautifully written things on the planet, or I’m outta here,” Blue declared, as he sat himself down on the couch, peering over Ink’s shoulder at his laptop. “Wattpad? _Really_ _?_ ” He sneered, sniffing contemptuously, before going back to a neutral expression.

Ink flipped Blue off, clicking into his library, and clicking open the first fic, one called _lord draem von light x girl!reader_.

“Ink, this doesn’t look particularly good-” Blue started before being whacked lightly on the arm by Ink.

“Shush, it’s on Wattpad, what else did you expect? Let’s just read this thing,” Ink said, grinning as he opened it

  _draem looks at you when youre walkhing becausf your his assistant and he says “you look pretty hot ur realy cuuyuute!” and you Blushed beacuse you were secretly in love with him but no one knew not even youre best friend ink who was also an asitant  “OMG…i htink ur hawt tooooooo!” you loked Like uh a tomato! becase you really Realy like draem so much!_

_“you shoul be my vertebabe becas i love you…” draem was blushing a looooooooooot when he say he luvvs u becaue Hur hot_

Ink’ eyelights stayed glued to his laptop, staring in horror at the beginning of the fic, before slamming it shut. He turned to look into the eyes of his equally horrified boyfriend.

“That was…” Blue trailed off, unable to even formulate a sentence to describe how mind-numbingly terrible it was.

“The most horrifying thing in the starsdamned multiverse?” Ink offered.

“Yes.”

There was a beat of silence as the two tried to process what they’d just read.

“We’re totally reading the entire thing aren’t we?” Ink said, grinning, and reopening his laptop, getting comfy as Blue wrapped his arms around him.

“Of course,” Blue stated as if it were obviously the thing they should do. “Asitant.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too!”

“Fuck you.”

“I thought you wanted to get on with reading?” Blue questioned innocently, looking to the world like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

There was a pause as Ink visibly tried to calm himself.

“Fuck you even more.”

Ink was not the greatest at calming himself.

 

\---

 

Thankfully, no other Dream x Reader fanficitons show up for the next few weeks, and the multi-universal forces breathe a sigh of relief, unaware of what is brewing in the near future.

Nightmare wakes up one day, and realises he has nothing to do. This is not entirely uncommon,  living the life of an innocent branded a criminal doesn’t entail a particularly busy schedule, as the Omega timeline, where he, Cross, and Error are currently staying, protects them from discovery by Justice Reigns.

What is, however, uncommon, is the fact that both Error and Cross are occupied on this particular day, on a date in fact. Not that Nightmare is aware of it, he has the awareness of a blind duck.

Nightmare is left alone in the house in the Omega Timeline, unable to play video games, as the only ones he owns are multiplayer, and, much to his chagrin, wifi is down, as such preventing him from finding solace from his boredom online.

He does, however, have a perfectly functioning computer, and on that computer, Microsoft Word 2016 is installed. Nightmare, having nothing to do, as you’ve previously been told, decides he may as well write something; not a diary entry, nothing so sappy or sentimental, that would simply be out of character, he instead defaults to his natural inclination of being salty as fuck, and decides to diss his  _oh so beloved_ old friend while he’s at it.

He names the word document _Dank_ , and begins to type furiously.

Nightmare, being 124 years old, despite having the common sense of a 13 year old, has not been to school in a very very long time. That coupled with the fact that he does not write nor read particularly often, means that what he writes is not entirely grammatically correct; sentence and speech punctuation evades him, and his formatting is barely passable, not to mention his touch-typing is not the greatest, leading there to be many spelling mistakes, though all together, it’s not too shabby of a fic. [Provided we ignore the content, of course.]

While it is not well known, there is a certain link between all multiverses, though very weak, and certain people can use these links, however subconsciously; some sense the presences of alternate multiverses, some replicate magic from some alternate multiverse, and some are able to describe alternate multiverses.

Nightmare happens to be one of these certain people, falling directly into the third category. The particular alternate multiverse that he is able to describe is called _Dankswap_ , truly an abomination to all who know of it.

Allow me to rephrase that; truly an abomination to all those who know of it, who also happen to be _sane_. There are very few people who would describe Nightmare as entirely sane.

Nightmare is not, of course, aware that the document he is currently writing is the history of an alternate multiverse - all he knows is that he has written something utterly ridiculing Blue, Dream, and Ink, which pleases him immensely, and prompts him to want to share this piece of writing.

Though well versed in many things, Nightmare happens to not be well versed in which reading sites are respectable, and which are dodgy and should probably be avoided. In his haste to have his... _beautiful_ piece of writing published, he opts to publish onto the first site to some up on his browser, as thankfully wifi is working once more. Due to him using Bing, which as we all know could be described as  _sub par_ on a good day, the first reading site to come up happens to be Wattpad.

Nightmare creates an account, going by the name NightSlayer6000 in a failed attempt to appear cool, and publishes _Dank_.

_The people of Wattpad adore Dank._

Within three days, it is one of the most read stories on Wattpad, everyone who uses the site knows about that fic where Dream is a meme and also what’s this conspiracy theory about Dream and Nightmare being friends turned arch enemies?

[There are a terrifying amount of fanfics based off this concept that arise.]

So, in three days, Nightmare’s gone from being a criminal to - well, still a criminal, but a criminal with fans, though they have no idea that he’s a criminal only that he writes really entertaining shit and also happens to be a conspiracy theorist according to the majority of his readers, though that particular title annoys him to no end.

 _Anyway_ , spurred on by his victory, he starts to write more! His spelling, grammar, and punctuation don’t actually improve, but none of his readers give a shit because _Dank_ is the finest crack they’ve ever had the honour of reading.

Everyone knows the meme squad are really close, so at some point, Error and Cross find out about how Nightmare’s been using his free time. Cross is absolutely  _delighted_  that he now gets to work on Dank because he’s hecking obsessed with it, and Error just sighs because his suspicions have been confirmed, _of course_ it would be Nightmare who’s writing the fic that’s multiversally acknowledged to be the worst out there, while also being the best.

During this time Crerror expands and AcrossNightErrors becomes a thing, because of course it does, and the three dedicate their entire existences to the fic.

Actually no they don’t because Error doesn’t let them, much to Cross and Nightmare’s dismay, though the glitchy skeleton is 90% sure his two idiot boyfriends pull a weekly all-nighter from Sunday through Monday, because any coffee in the house mysteriously goes missing over that time period.

Eventually they rope him into their shenanigans, and Error discovers the joys of writing crack, and so for a bit everything’s okay, there’s nothing really all that wrong with the multiverse which is really unexpected. I mean Nightmare’s credited as the author of _Dank_ even though there’s no way he could own a multiverse but whatever right? Legalities-shmegalities, only Dream bothers with those.

Then, on some unremarkable, insignificant, boring Thursday, a fic appears in the meme squad’s recommended list. It is not, by any means, a particularly _good_ fic. It’s not even a particularly  _bad_ fic. It is, however, a Dream x Reader, and as has been proven with Ink's case, that can  _never_ signal a good thing.

Nightmare is, oat first, mildly annoyed, because despite everything that’s his brother, and he’s very clearly not jealous because this writer has more votes than he does. I mean, what’s so special about Dream? It’s not like he’s a major public figure who also runs an organisation that helps people, right?

In any case, Nightmare is far from stupid, and looking at the Dream x Reader fanfictions floating around on Wattpad - there are surprisingly few considering how long Dream’s been around, though Wattpad hasn’t existed for that long so there is also that to account for - and Nightmare realises that no matter how badly it’s written, no matter how absolutely  _painfully bad_ the grammar and formatting and characterisation is, almost every single one of these fics has over 5k reads.

He’s ever so slightly weirded out, because holy apple tree how many people are obsessed with Dream? Dream isn’t even all that good looking! He voices these thoughts to Error and Cross, who shamelessly admit they would tap Dream’s ass, much to Nightmare’s ire, who then proceeds to pout for the rest of the day until they take it back and proclaim him the more attractive twin.

When Cross innocently mentions that Dream and Nightmare are identical twins, and therefore have the same face, Nightmare very graciously flips him off and says he wears his age better, at which point his boyfriends procure a cane for him. Nightmare gets back at them by strategically using said cane to literally tap their asses - but with force, and in the back of the head more often than not.

But moving on from the Meme Squad’s various shenanigans, Nightmare is left in a conundrum; logically, the way to gaining more popularity would be to write one of these Dream x Readers. The thing is Nightmare still has this thing called dignity, however little of it.

In the end it is Cross and Error who convince him to write the fic, through bribery and threats to write bad fanfiction and post it onto his account; Nightmare prides himself on being a superb writer, and will not stand for Error nor Cross to taint his account with their filthy, revolting, mockery of the  _noble_  and  _respectable_  art of fanfiction.

Then he starts to write. To his horror and glee, he gets very into it, the first draft being over 5,000 words long, for only the  _introductory chapter._  Insert an editing montage with various bouts of screaming because writing decent fanfiction is  _really fucking hard okay shut up Error you try and do it._ And basically a few days later the first chapter of  _Beauty and the ~~Beast~~ Cult Leader_  is released to the general public.

As Nightmare predicts, the fic gains a lot of popularity very fast, almost outranking _Dank_ , which horribly offends Nightmare because the Foole considers _Dank_ his pride and joy, despite the premise being the one of the most if not the most ridiculous on the internet.

 

\---

 

“Error, Cross, holy shit you guys need to get over here now!” Nightmare shouted up the stairs, installing himself comfortable on the couch in their living room/kitchen. Yes he was aware that he was hogging the entirety of it by laying across it like that but he really couldn’t care less - Error and Cross would just have to deal. Or forcibly move him, which, now that he thought about it, was really the likelier option here.

 **“What is it?”**  Error called out, not bothering to get out from his bedroom. He was comfortable, and unless the world was ending, there was no way he was moving. Especially not to cater to Nightmare. Cross, who was lounging on his bed next to him didn’t even bother asking what it was, opting instead to groan and shift into a more comfortable position for napping.

“GUYS GET YOUR BONY ARSES DOWN HERE IT’S ABOUT MY FANFICTION!” Nightmare shouted, having gotten tired of waiting. The volume, if nothing else, prompted Error and Cross to actually go downstairs. It obviously wasn’t because they were interested in Nightmare’s fanfiction, because they weren’t  _losers_  like Nightmare.

“So… what is it this time? Has your author-senpai commented on your fic? Have you transcended this mortal plane to have the gods like your fanfiction?” Cross asked, going to get himself a soda.

“Shut up, no, I need help on this one word,” Nightmare said.

Error and Cross swivelled their heads in unison to stare questioningly at Nightmare.

”Look, the sentence doesn’t flow and I can’t think of any adjectives that would fit, so you guys are my last resort.”

“Then use a thesaurus?” Cross said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The poor sod had clearly not yet tried his hand at writing fanfiction, or even writing in general. Well, good writing. Dank does not count.

“You can’t use a thesaurus to look up a phrase, dimwit.”

 **“Nightmare you’ve been obsessively rewriting this chapter for the last few days, maybe take a break?”**  Error said, stealing Cross’ soda and sitting next to Nightmare like the good, supportive boyfriend that he was, and ignoring Cross’ cry of outrage at the sudden loss of his beverage.

“No, Error, you don’t understand!” Nightmare cried, clinging to Error, “I must! Writer’s block is the worst but I must!”

Error rolled his eyes. “Why is it you need to write this thing? I mean, Dank at the very least makes fun of Dream and basically everyone in it, but even  _Cross_  doesn’t stoop to this level. Dream’s your brother for crying out loud, why are you writing fanfiction about him?”Nightmare grinned, some combination of sheepish and evil, making Error side-eye him.

 **“Nightmare what are you planning. What have you done?”** he asked, running through various contingency plans in case Nightmare had somehow revealed their address and any secrets that only he would know that would lead Dream to attempt to try and track their IP address.

“Nothing! Why do you always think I’m up to something?” Nightmare said, crossing his arms hike the petulant child that he was. “It’s Cross half the time!”

 **“Yes and the other half is you so what is it,”**  Error said, categorising which safe-houses had wifi to pacify Cross and Nightmare in case they actually did need to leave their house. Again.

“OH FUCK JR IS OUTSIDE NIGHTMARE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO.”

“I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING I ONLY SENT A THING TO INK!”

“INK KNOWS HOW TO TRACK IP ADDRESSES YOU FUCKING IDIOT!”

“SHIT.”

Error sighed.

 

\---

 

So Ink knows who Nightmare is online now, and vice versa. This starts a ‘friendly’ rivalry between the two of them, where Ink declares that he’s going to write a better Dream x Reader and starts immediately. Now there are two fanfictions with good characterisation. He already suspected NightSlayer6000 to be one of the meme squad, or at least working in JR.

 

\---

 

“Hey Ink, do you think this NightSlayer6000 person may work with Dream? Because his characterisation is spot on,” Blue commented, as they read through another Dream x Reader. This one was titled _Beauty and the ~~Beast~~ Cult Leader_ , and despite being a Dream x Reader, the author didn’t seem to like Dream all that much, subtly painting him in a negative light. “Also he’s kinda salty about Dream.”

Ink shrugged. “Yeah, probably. To both. Slayer probably got snubbed by Dream because Dream’s a perfectionist, or he messed up and got fired or some shit, and I mean, him working in JR isn’t impossible. They’ve made other, absolutely  _terrible_ fics though - this one is just called _Dank_ , and… you know what, let’s not even consider it. I blame the other two co-authors though.”

Blue shuddered, remembering how he’d dared read the first few lines, and shuddered again, because the memory was truly  _that_  traumatic.  _Dream_   _the_   _Meme_  was something he would never be able to forget, no matter how long he lived, it would haunt him. “Let’s agree to never mention it ever again.”

“Yes,” Ink readily agreed nodding his head, before coming to a realisation.

“Wait Blue what if it’s not in JR.” Ink jumped up from his bed and started pacing, stroking an imaginary beard as he did so. “What if it’s Nightmare or Cross?”

Blue raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Yeah. Right. Nightmare. Would he really write fanfiction about Dream like that?” he asked sarcastically, before realising that yes, Nightmare would indeed do that. “You have zero proof.”

“Says you! There are three people writing that fucking abomination which would be Cross and Error, and the characterisation is too good, and look at how fucking  _salty_ the author is, there’s no one else as salty about Dream as Nightmare. Come on Blue, admit it, you know I’m right!”

“No.”

 

\---

 

Ink laughs at Blue once it's revealed that Nightmare is, in fact, the author of  _Dank,_  and  _Beauty and the ~~Beast~~  Cult Leader_. But anyway, Ink writes a lot, causing him to get in trouble for slacking on the job, which makes Ink want to get revenge. How, you ask? By thoroughly weirding him out and subjecting him to the awkwardness that is Dream x Reader fanfiction, of course!

Ink, being just a little bit stupid, doesn’t stop to consider the fact that Dream may not actually read the fanfiction and may just shove it in the trash. He instead sets up a ridiculously complicated camera trap that will record Dream’s expression while he reads the fanfiction.

Dream does not read the fanfiction in his office, making Ink’s camera trap entirely redundant. When he catches sight of the document, he’s confused -  _A Lord and his Love_ , what’s that? Then he flips the page, and reads the first sentence. He shows no outward reaction, because he realises this was the fault of either his brother, Ink, or Blue, and they’re probably watching him, so he just folds it and put it in a drawer in his desk with an exaggerated sigh and a roll of his eyes, taking note to come back and get it later

Ink and Blue are very let down, because they truly expected their plan to work! Well, Ink did, Blue is a little more conscious of the fact that Dream was incredibly unlikely to read fanfiction of himself. The only thing is, Blue is actually wrong, because Dream’s interest has been piqued. In the middle of the night, Dream somehow manages to sneak into his office without anyone realising and get the fanfictions that have been so kindly deposited there. This is vaguely surprising, considering the fact that Blue is messing around with the cameras and looking through them, and also the fact that Dream has two giant glowing wings making him a beacon of light. Moving on, Dream manages to get the stories.

He pulls an all nighter to read them because, honestly why not? I’ve not got work tomorrow, it isn’t as if there’s much point to getting a full night’s rest. Besides, caffeine is a thing. So Dream’s now read through these fanfictions, and he’s a little weirded out if he’s completely honest, because this is  _him_  and the person who wrote this can actually predict what he’ll do concerningly well. Not. Dream is laughing half the time because this is the most nonsense he’s ever read.

One of these people thinks he’s a slave driver and has, for some reason, included  _Ink_  in the story. Not only that, they’ve included  _Blue_  in the story. There are a few things here that worry Dream ever so slightly, because Ink’s inclusion and the way the person writing him has portrayed him, they clearly look up to him, and that’s just a disaster in the making. Then there’s the fact that they know that Blue regularly bothers him. While it’s not a secret, per se, it’s not really common knowledge for anyone not paying attention.

That means the author is part of JR, and that makes Dream curious, because  _who on earth is writing fanfiction about me? Surely no one other than this person is..._

A quick google search of his name quickly disproves that thought, when the first thing to come up under the wikipedia page of him is a fanfiction. Specifically, the one he’s pulling an all nighter to read right now.

The next day, Dream is  _very_  glad that caffeine is a thing, because turns out he made a mistake when looking at his calendar, and he has to deal with Ink whining at work. But Ink whining turns productive and also slightly surprising when Ink reveals that he’s writing a book. When Dream enquires what this book might be about, and what it’s titled, Ink laughs, telling Dream it’s called  _A Lord and his Love_ , and it’s too obscure for Dream to ever find it. It’s not even a real book, it’s published online apparently.

And thus, Dream knows who OwOwOwO, the author of the fanfiction he was reading last night, is.  _Obscure my ass._

Dream, having created himself a Wattapd account to check if  _A Lord and his Love_  was, in fact, the same as the one he was reading, decides to read more X Reader fanfiction, because he’s a senile old man, no matter how much of a pretty boi he looks like outwardly.

The first fanfiction he falls across is called  _Beauty and the ~~Beast~~  Cult Leader _ , and it’s really fucking salty is the first thing he picks up on. Well no, the first thing he picks up on is that the reader and he are supposed childhood friends and the childhood in question is far, far too accurate for it to be anyone but Nightmare writing this, but the saltyness is a really close second. He gets rather too engaged in the fanfiction, and spends most of the time correcting the grammar and leaving comments on how to improve the fanfiction because  _come on Nightmare, you know I wouldn’t have done this when I was thirteen, I would have sooner jumped off a bridge!_ Nightmare, of course, doesn’t know it’s him and seeing as Dream phrases the comments in a friendly and joking manner, Nightmare assumes he’s just a random person having his fun, and that he, Nightmare, is clearly the one with superior characterisation. Right.

He then moves to check out Nightmare’s other fanfiction, because he’s a supportive and caring brother, who totally isn’t doing this to laugh at Nightmare, and only want to see what his beloved big brother has created. It is then that he comes across the abomination that is  _Dank_. As any sane person would be, Dream is horrified. He also notes the other two writers on this, AgainstCrochet and Keyboards, and concludes that they’re Error and Cross because really, who else would his brother be writing X Reader fanfiction with?

He looks back at the fanfiction Ink has written, and looking at the co-author - LapisLazuli - it’s not that much of a stretch to assume that’s Blue, especially considering that Dream is pretty sure that the two are dating.

As it is, Dream makes questionable decisions sometimes, such as hiring Ink, or not immediately declaring Blue a criminal and jailing him, and this is one of those times; it has been mentioned that Dream is a massive fucking troll. Here is the true start of the trolling, where we truly understand the title[s]. Taking selfcest to a whole new level when surrounded by people who quite literally ship the same skeleton with multiple versions of himself is obviously challenging, and yet not once has anyone mentioned fanfiction within their fanfictions. More specifically, the X Readers upon which this entire who-knows-how-long-thing was based on

It’s a rainy day, and all his paperwork has been completed on the day that Dream first opens Google Docs and writes the first paragraph of what will come to be known as the most popular X Reader fanfiction the internet has ever seen.

—-

Dream sighed, looking over the draft for the first chapter. Why he was doing this was an absolute mystery; it was bad enough that he actually  _read_  fanfiction about himself, but stooping to the level of actually writing it? Mere weeks ago, even the thought of himself doing such ridiculous and childish things would have never crossed his mind, and yet here he was.

Correcting the odd spelling mistake here and there, Dream continued to ponder on the fact that this was, in all technicalities, selfcest, though making no effort to stop himself from actually editing the fic.

Now, all he needed was a title. What on earth he was going to call it was a mystery to him. Perhaps something involving JR?  _Forbidden Love?_  Dream dismissed the idea at once, he would never write anything with such a cliche name if he was ever to preserve his integrity as a writer, be it fanfiction or otherwise. There were many other more suitable alternatives then  _Forbidden Love_  of all things.

There were three knocks at his door knocking Dream back into reality, as he realised far more time had elapsed than he’d planned.

“Come in,” he called out, having stowed his phone away so that no one would know he had been, at this Dream cringed internally, slacking off.

“My Lord, there’s a new influx of paperwork, I’m terribly sorry but you’re the only one cleared to sign it.” The employee glanced at the piles of paperwork still on Dream’s desk, and assumed that Dream had been given too much, and so looked very regretful as he handed Dream another stack.

“Thank you, and please, don’t apologise,” Dream said, smiling externally as he internally groaned and berated himself from getting carried away with the piece he had been writing.

“Of course, My Lord.” With a short bow, the nameless and unimportant employee walked out of Dream’s office, never to be mentioned again

\---

Despite the ungodly amount of paperwork he has to deal with daily, Dream still finds time to write his Dream x Reader fanfiction, which he did actually end up naming  _Forbidden Love,_ much to his shame. He publishes it on Wattpad, which has been gaining a reputation for producing really high quality Dream X Reader fanfictions recently, under the pseudonym YellowSky7854 because he just took the name that got generated for him. And then, while he wrote the fanfiction mostly as a joke and intended to leave it off as a pining underling with an unrequited crush, it started gaining tract, and people started inquiring about whether or not he could continue, it, please?

Never one to disappoint, Dream does pick it up, and writes a second chapter, posting it a week after the first; it’s at that point that  _Forbidden Love_ ’s popularity levels rise to ridiculous highs. Nightmare’s Dream X Reader,  _Beauty and the ~~Beast~~  Cult Leader _  finished about a month ago,  _A Lord and his Love_  having finished two months ago, and ever since the readers had had to satisfy themselves with either really, really bad fanfiction with no real plot and no spelling, grammar, nor punctuation whatever, or rereads, which were never as good unless the writer included subtle references and foreshadowing, which neither the Meme Squad nor Ink and Blue had thought to do.

Dream, having read through these fics multiple times, was thoroughly disappointed upon finding a complete lack of foreshadowing or extra details for the truly loyal and determined readers, and as such began plotting the entirety of a fic, filled with the details that the other fics were missing.

It only gains more and more popularity as Dream writes it, weekly updates giving it an honest to god fanbase. Then NightSlayer6000 and co. take an interest in his work. It starts off with just a vote on his fist chapter which was intended to be a one shot, and AgainstCrochet giving a rather bland comment commending him on characterisation. Then they start commenting on his fic, actual in depth comments, analysing and over analysing because they’re as nerdy as Dream is trolly, and through praise and Dream returning the favour on their Dream X Reader, they manage to strike up a friendship.

OwOwOwO comes late to the party, bringing LapisLazuli with him. LapisLazuli has a lot of friends online in this community, and thus Dream is introduced to the wonders of discord.

He first joins the community discord, but ends up finding some rp servers as well, and soon he’s as much a part of the community as anyone else.

Never let it be said that Dream is not a troll who will take every opportunity he sees. And this one? This was possibly the most inventive way to troll his brother in the history of trolling, and so, when NightSlayer6000 invites YellowSky7854 to join his private discord with him and his mates? Of course he accepts.

It is there where he cusses freely when he gets writer’s block. He never swore normally, but fuck that, because writer’s block is literally his worst enemy right now and he’s going to motherfucking swear if it gets the point across. Then of course there’s the added factor that he swears like he does and then actually criticizes Ink for swearing in his office.

All the while Dream is giggling from behind his computer, occasionally phone, screen and wondering how on earth it is that they’ve not caught on to who he is yet. He chalks it up to them not looking for it, and the general belief that he would never do something so ridiculous. To be fair, he wouldn’t suspect himself either; sophisticated, CEO of justice Reigns, uptight Dream was not who you’d picture as an avid fanfiction author. Nor swearing.

And then, three or four months into writing  _Forbidden Love_ , he walks in on Ink reading it.

\---

  _A thoughtful expression passed over Dream’s face as you smiled nervously, looking anywhere but at him. You were not sure how your superior was going to react to your sudden, rushed declaration of love - it wasn’t even that, just a stammered admission to liking him._

_“I suppose, if that is the case,” he mused, a light golden blush dusting his face, “then you must forgive me for this.”_

_He cupped your face in his hands, bringing you in for a kiss, soft and chaste, and it left you absolutely breathless._

_“I apologise for giving no prior warning,” he said, your faces still close enough that you could feel his breath on your lips, “I feared that you would not have let me kiss you had I stalled.”_

 

“Ink, stop slacking off at once.”

Ink jumped and turned around, quickly turning his phone off, praying to the heavens that his Boss hadn’t seen he fanfiction he’d just been reading; he was in enough trouble already, he didn’t need Dream knowing he was reading X Reader fanfiction about him.

“Uh… Hi Boss. I’ve actually finished the work you gave me, so uh, I was just checking a thing on my phone real quick. Yeah, so is there something I have to do now?” Ink asked, looking up at Dream’s exasperated face. It wasn’t  _his_ fault!  _Forbidden Love_  had just updated a few minutes ago, he just  _had_ to read the new part!

Dream raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, though quickly glancing at the report on Ink’s desk, he wasn’t lying. “I’m not impressed by you slacking off. You are meant to be working; I pay you by the hour, unless you would like me to decrease your wage, I’d advise you start working harder.” It was an empty threat and both of them knew it, but it worked to remind Ink that Dream, despite being his friend when not working, was still his superior.

Internally, Dream was laughing so hard; now not only was he chastising Ink for swearing, he was also doing so for not working during working hours when he himself had taken a break to finish the last chapter, though he did it to a far lesser extent to Ink of course; he quite simply couldn’t afford to slack off for more than a few minutes per hour lest he fall drastically behind and have to pull an all nighter.

“I’ve got an assignment for you, the details are in my office. Come with me.”

“Sure thing Boss!”

\---

Dream, because he is an asshole, decides to subtly quote his fic at all times of the day, putting Ink massively on edge and also confusing him. Never specifically enough to make him suspect that he’s actually reading the fanfiction, much less writing it, but just enough to make Ink think he’s going crazy imagining his superior saying things from a fanfiction that he’s read. It’s immensely entertaining.

It is also around this time period that Dream finally reads  _Dank_. He’d previously only read the first chapter before cutting off there, horrified, but now his mind is more accustomed to what you might find on the internet, and Dream believes himself to be strong enough to make it through to the end.

He is wrong.

Funnily enough, the thing that aggravates him the most isn’t the plot, because that’s weird yet still really fucking funny, it’s how there’s no spelling or formatting or anything of the sort! He mentions it one day while they’re in the private discord chatting and it comes up, and Night jokingly agrees to do it on the condition that Dream helps him, and thus a collab was born.

The most surprising thing is that they actually do it, making the wonderful storyline more accessible for those who don’t read fics unless they’re presented correctly, and the glory of  _Dank_  is spread in their little community, much to Ink and Blue’s horror, and the Meme Squad’s glee.

Dream then quotes  _Dank_  in Ink’s presence. As the co-writer, or rewriter, whatever really, he added in little things that he’s be able to do in real life, and Ink is honestly this close to tearing his hair out, which is quite frankly a bit concerning because he doesn’t have hair he’s a skeleton, what is it that he’s going to rip out in its place?

Ink honest to god confronts Dream about it, and Dream is just. Dying. Because he’s pretending to have no idea what the fuck Ink is going on about and it is  _hilarious_. He suggests that Ink take a few days off from work, citing the reason as a mental break, because he honestly has no idea what Ink is going on about. Well. That’s what he tells Ink anyway…

\---

Dream waited for Ink to finish his rant, praying that he’d be able to keep a straight face.

“Ink… Ink what exactly are you talking about?” he asked, a carefully crafted expression of concern and confusion plastered on his face. “You’ve accused me of being the author of- well, I can’t quite remember the title but it sounded rather cliche, but what exactly is this book? You seem to imply that it’s a romance novel of some sort? And I’m included in it? You’re really not making much sense, could you explain again?”

Ink looked ready to cry.

\---

 **Sky:** Hey, I’ve been thinking.

 **Keys:**  this can mean nothing good

 **Sky:**  Fuck you, my idea is wonderful.

 **Slayer:**  good depends on the person you’re talking about lol

 **Lapis:**  The word youre looking for is “subjective”

 **Sky:**  You know Dream’s underling Ink? And the other one, Blueberry was his name I think?

 **OwO:** Sky please no dont

 **Sky:** Poly.

  **Lapis:**  But fine there’s something better.

 **OwO:**  yeah whatever tell

 **Sky:** What about Nightmare? If we go with Slayer’s conspiracy theory that he’s Dream’s brother, we could have this love triangle with the two as brother fighting over the reader.

 **Slayer:**  i hate this idea

 **Slayer:**  no i dont please i need this let me write it with you

 **Crochet:**  Sky why would you do this I want to read it now.

\---

**_A CEO and a Criminal_ **

_Chapter 1_

~~~

**END**


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